Mother's Day... what a perfect day for such a huge life changing moment. We had a big sleepover last night with all the kids (The Pilot sleeps on the couch, just so we're clear!), and I awoke this morning to coffee made, a sweet card, and a box of chocolates. Now, since the last couple of Mother's Days have come and gone nearly completely ignored... just these small gestures were absolutely huge to me. What speaks even bigger about the kind of man he is though is that he also made sure he had secured cards and a gift for his ex-wife for the kids to give. Seriously amazing. Even after all that she put him through, he still makes certain that the kids show up on Mother's Day with proper gifts for her... my ex didn't even remember to tell me Happy Mother's Day!
His kids left in the morning for their mom's house, and The Pilot came with me to my parents' house for brunch. We had a great time, and left to drop my boys off with their dad for a few hours to see their other grandma. With a few child-less hours all to ourselves, The Pilot said he wanted to bring me to a special spot... somewhere that he has spent many, many hours... thinking, crying, praying, contemplating... I was a little bit stumped. A mountaintop? A park bench? Hmmm...
I'm sure it is probably more than obvious to everyone but me: he drove to the airport. He turned into the parking garage and went up, up, up... all the way to the top of the 9th story. We had a view of the whole city. We watched planes take off and land... marveled at the beauty of the mountains and God's creation. I loved that he took me to his special, solitary spot. He handed me a card... the most beautiful words I've ever read... and then, he asked. Of course, I said yes. I would've been crazy not to.
We have talked about a potential wedding a number of times... where/when - all of those details. So, he took me to brunch at a place where we talked about hosting a brunch reception. While we were there, we chatted with their catering manager about their private room, and in a matter of 10 minutes had the date booked and the menu picked. Talk about fast-tracking the planning! We stopped by his parents' house to share our good news, and they offered to host the ceremony in their backyard. Perfect!
We are keeping the wedding extremely small - only 20 invited, including our 4 children. Our parents, siblings, grandparents, and very best friends. The people closest to us that we know will continue to support us through the years to come. We are so excited to begin this chapter of our lives together... and can't WAIT until August 31st.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Saturday, May 11, 2013
So Good
Life has been so good.
The Pilot and I have been communicating so well... I've told him when things are stressing me out with his ex, and he has completely understood. His understanding in every situation never ceases to amaze me. He truly thinks about what my heart needs and makes it happen... no easy feat.
We've gone to our church's couples dinner two months in a row now. It is so amazing to me that he makes it such a priority to build our relationship purposefully. Seeking God's will and making our relationship keep Him at the center - something I've always wanted to be able to do. Holding his hand, snuggling up close, sharing our secrets... It all feels so right.
I'm so blessed to have found him... he is everything I've ever wanted and even more. Cliché but so true.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Stress.
It is SO hard to date someone with an ex-wife. SO hard. The Pilot can go from happy and upbeat to angry and resentful in a nano-second... all because of an email or text from her (not directed at me, obviously... but I sure see a different side of him). I get it: she cheated on him... they had a lousy marriage even besides that... they are struggling to make decisions amicably. It is hard on him.
...and yet, somehow all I can think about is... Can I really do this? Can I sign up for years and years of interactions and huge amounts of stress brought on by this women and his reactions to her?
I feel like I'm being really selfish and that I should be more understanding... but it is HARD. I have minor issues with my ex. We bicker about little things and schedule changes... but I trust him with our kids and his new girlfriend doesn't bother me. He doesn't cause me nearly the anguish that the Pilot seems to get from his ex.
Part of me worries that he is so eager to move on and marry me because of how it'll make her feel... finally a victory against the woman who has been difficult on nearly every issue imaginable. That's crazy, right?
I need a little space from this ex issue... but it is here, every. single. day. And I'm just not sure I can handle this much baggage.
...and yet, somehow all I can think about is... Can I really do this? Can I sign up for years and years of interactions and huge amounts of stress brought on by this women and his reactions to her?
I feel like I'm being really selfish and that I should be more understanding... but it is HARD. I have minor issues with my ex. We bicker about little things and schedule changes... but I trust him with our kids and his new girlfriend doesn't bother me. He doesn't cause me nearly the anguish that the Pilot seems to get from his ex.
Part of me worries that he is so eager to move on and marry me because of how it'll make her feel... finally a victory against the woman who has been difficult on nearly every issue imaginable. That's crazy, right?
I need a little space from this ex issue... but it is here, every. single. day. And I'm just not sure I can handle this much baggage.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
March: Part Two
Well, now that we are past the OMG part... here's the rest of the month :)
Ahhhh.... Spring Break! Obviously, as a teacher, I make crap money. BUT the perks more than make up for it (don't tell my principal because I'm still totally asking for a raise!). I love love love having so much time off - Fall, Christmas, Spring, Summer breaks... I actually only work 179 days a year. That is awesome.
I'm also lucky that my boys and The Pilot's kids have the same school schedule as well, so we booked a little family getaway about 3 hours away in the mountains. If you've never used it, definitely check out vrbo.com - for the price of a single hotel room, we got an amazing 3 bedroom cabin in a gated community. We brought up bikes and balls and lots of fun Easter activities. The kids were in heaven! We dyed eggs, had egg hunts, played with balloons, and rode around the neighborhood forever. The two older boys played outside nearly the whole trip. Their favorite activity was using a chain they found to break up a huge chunk of ice that was leftover from the last snow. Hilarious. You can tell these boys are from Phoenix - they were so excited by even the slightest vision of "snow". The only thing that I didn't like was the whole sleeping-in-seperate-rooms thing. Ugh. I know that we are doing the right thing for our family by making sure our kids understand that we aren't sharing a bed until we are married... but it is SO hard to have The Pilot set his alarm for 2am so he can move to another room. You know what was amazing though? Charlie had a hard time adjusting to sleeping in the pack and play, and The Pilot took care of him 3 out of the 4 nights without even waking me up... and still got up and made all 6 of us breakfast (and NEVER forgot to have a coffee in my hand the second I came downstairs). He is a saint. Don't worry - I took care of him too... I made lunches and dinners, and took care of all the Easter basket stuff. And boy! Easter baskets sure get expensive when you suddenly have 4 kids! We make a pretty good little team :)
The kids got along for the most part. There were occasional issues - usually arising from them having too much fun and being too loud! Also, 6 and 7 year old boys seriously love potty talk... ugh! So gross! I'm so thankful we have two littler ones that don't cause our blood pressure to rise just yet.
When we got back to Phoenix after our trip we dropped the kids off with their other parents (of course, I had my boys an extra day because their dad was mad at me and told me to keep them an extra night because he knew I had plans. LAME). Once we were childless, we spent Saturday eating a some of my favorite places that I've wanted to take him, hanging out at a coffee house that I love, taking an 2-hour nap, and going out to see a movie. We also went to church at MY church for the first time. Up until this point, we've been going to a "neutral" church because our relationship was so new that we didn't think it was the right time to bring someone new into our church... but apparently we've passed that point. It felt SO good to be back at my home church!
Sadly, Easter morning started with a trip to urgent care. Apparently The Pilot is the EXACT opposite of my xH. He had been struggling with a sinus headache for about a week, but never mentioned it... until it was so bad that he *had* to get antibiotics. He had a double ear infection on top of it! So, we spent Sunday at home on the couch, catching up on Grey's Anatomy and The New Girl episodes. His parents came over for dinner, but didn't stay long because he felt so bad. Now I'm fighting a yucky bug too - but mine seems to be passing much more quickly and without a trip to the doctor, thank goodness!
I'm so glad to have him here until Saturday morning... 14 whole days without him flying! It has been really nice to have such a solid stretch of time together. Makes me see much more clearly what "real life" would be like with him...
Ahhhh.... Spring Break! Obviously, as a teacher, I make crap money. BUT the perks more than make up for it (don't tell my principal because I'm still totally asking for a raise!). I love love love having so much time off - Fall, Christmas, Spring, Summer breaks... I actually only work 179 days a year. That is awesome.
I'm also lucky that my boys and The Pilot's kids have the same school schedule as well, so we booked a little family getaway about 3 hours away in the mountains. If you've never used it, definitely check out vrbo.com - for the price of a single hotel room, we got an amazing 3 bedroom cabin in a gated community. We brought up bikes and balls and lots of fun Easter activities. The kids were in heaven! We dyed eggs, had egg hunts, played with balloons, and rode around the neighborhood forever. The two older boys played outside nearly the whole trip. Their favorite activity was using a chain they found to break up a huge chunk of ice that was leftover from the last snow. Hilarious. You can tell these boys are from Phoenix - they were so excited by even the slightest vision of "snow". The only thing that I didn't like was the whole sleeping-in-seperate-rooms thing. Ugh. I know that we are doing the right thing for our family by making sure our kids understand that we aren't sharing a bed until we are married... but it is SO hard to have The Pilot set his alarm for 2am so he can move to another room. You know what was amazing though? Charlie had a hard time adjusting to sleeping in the pack and play, and The Pilot took care of him 3 out of the 4 nights without even waking me up... and still got up and made all 6 of us breakfast (and NEVER forgot to have a coffee in my hand the second I came downstairs). He is a saint. Don't worry - I took care of him too... I made lunches and dinners, and took care of all the Easter basket stuff. And boy! Easter baskets sure get expensive when you suddenly have 4 kids! We make a pretty good little team :)
The kids got along for the most part. There were occasional issues - usually arising from them having too much fun and being too loud! Also, 6 and 7 year old boys seriously love potty talk... ugh! So gross! I'm so thankful we have two littler ones that don't cause our blood pressure to rise just yet.
When we got back to Phoenix after our trip we dropped the kids off with their other parents (of course, I had my boys an extra day because their dad was mad at me and told me to keep them an extra night because he knew I had plans. LAME). Once we were childless, we spent Saturday eating a some of my favorite places that I've wanted to take him, hanging out at a coffee house that I love, taking an 2-hour nap, and going out to see a movie. We also went to church at MY church for the first time. Up until this point, we've been going to a "neutral" church because our relationship was so new that we didn't think it was the right time to bring someone new into our church... but apparently we've passed that point. It felt SO good to be back at my home church!
Sadly, Easter morning started with a trip to urgent care. Apparently The Pilot is the EXACT opposite of my xH. He had been struggling with a sinus headache for about a week, but never mentioned it... until it was so bad that he *had* to get antibiotics. He had a double ear infection on top of it! So, we spent Sunday at home on the couch, catching up on Grey's Anatomy and The New Girl episodes. His parents came over for dinner, but didn't stay long because he felt so bad. Now I'm fighting a yucky bug too - but mine seems to be passing much more quickly and without a trip to the doctor, thank goodness!
I'm so glad to have him here until Saturday morning... 14 whole days without him flying! It has been really nice to have such a solid stretch of time together. Makes me see much more clearly what "real life" would be like with him...
March: Part One
Things have been going SO well. We've had some bumps along the road but not with each other. We have both had some seriously stressful interactions with our ex-spouses, and it was nice to see how we were able to support each other and help each other through some tough stuff. On that note, my divorce is finally final! Whooo! It is such a good feeling to have that be complete and all of the parenting plan details written in stone (xH loves to try and adjust it every freaking month!)
The Pilot had a couple of longer trips this month - 7-9 days away from home. It is such a strange thing: I actually enjoy having that little bit of space and time to myself with the boys... but I miss him so much at the same time. It really makes seeing him after a long trip awesome!
Last weekend, he was supposed to be home on Saturday night, but instead his plane actually was scheduled to land in Phoenix (that almost never happens - he usually has to land in another city and take a flight home). He got in at 9am, which meant we got to spend the entire day together, unexpectedly. He came with me to breakfast with a friend that I had visiting, then we went out shopping. Yeah, shopping - he actually doesn't mind walking around a mall, carrying my bags, and watching me try things on (who would mind that? lol). Then... he told me that he wanted to shop one more place... and drove me to a jewelry store. We've talked a little bit about rings and even looked at some shops in the mall before, but this was serious. He was totally hunting through the cases, searching for some exact replica of something he had already imagined in his head. And after trying on a half-dozen things that neither of us really loved, he called out, "I found it!" ... and it is GORGEOUS. Sooooo... I'm not sure when exactly this whole thing is going to actually happen, but it sure looks like forever is definitely on the table now. I have been praying and thinking and over-analyzing all of this for months now - and I feel really good about it. He treats me better than I've EVER been treated... he understands what I need in a relationship to feel loved, and puts in tremendous effort to meet those needs... he's so forthcoming with his own wants and needs that it makes it easy for me to know where we are at and how to love him best. I've never imagined a relationship being this easy.
Of course, we aren't on the same page about everything - we keep our talk about politics to a minimum, but still are close enough that I don't want to run screaming in the other direction! We differ greatly on the amount of sugar we think kids can consume... but I can already see that he's adjusting so we can meet in the middle on that. If our biggest issues are immigration policies and the amount of donuts allowed at breakfast, I think we'll be okay :)
The Pilot had a couple of longer trips this month - 7-9 days away from home. It is such a strange thing: I actually enjoy having that little bit of space and time to myself with the boys... but I miss him so much at the same time. It really makes seeing him after a long trip awesome!
Last weekend, he was supposed to be home on Saturday night, but instead his plane actually was scheduled to land in Phoenix (that almost never happens - he usually has to land in another city and take a flight home). He got in at 9am, which meant we got to spend the entire day together, unexpectedly. He came with me to breakfast with a friend that I had visiting, then we went out shopping. Yeah, shopping - he actually doesn't mind walking around a mall, carrying my bags, and watching me try things on (who would mind that? lol). Then... he told me that he wanted to shop one more place... and drove me to a jewelry store. We've talked a little bit about rings and even looked at some shops in the mall before, but this was serious. He was totally hunting through the cases, searching for some exact replica of something he had already imagined in his head. And after trying on a half-dozen things that neither of us really loved, he called out, "I found it!" ... and it is GORGEOUS. Sooooo... I'm not sure when exactly this whole thing is going to actually happen, but it sure looks like forever is definitely on the table now. I have been praying and thinking and over-analyzing all of this for months now - and I feel really good about it. He treats me better than I've EVER been treated... he understands what I need in a relationship to feel loved, and puts in tremendous effort to meet those needs... he's so forthcoming with his own wants and needs that it makes it easy for me to know where we are at and how to love him best. I've never imagined a relationship being this easy.
Of course, we aren't on the same page about everything - we keep our talk about politics to a minimum, but still are close enough that I don't want to run screaming in the other direction! We differ greatly on the amount of sugar we think kids can consume... but I can already see that he's adjusting so we can meet in the middle on that. If our biggest issues are immigration policies and the amount of donuts allowed at breakfast, I think we'll be okay :)
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Valentine's Day
What on earth did I do to deserve this kind of guy? I am constantly swept off my feet... over and over again surprised by his thoughtfulness and affection. Valentine's Day was no exception.
The Pilot brought his kids over for a Valentine's Eve sleepover - they played and played with Carter and Charlie, then all of the kiddos were tucked into bed and the work began! The Pilot finished putting Carter's valentines together for his class (without me even asking him to!), while I started prepping for breakfast. I made mini heart-shaped ham, cheese, and hashbrown quiches and baked a package of bacon into little heart shapes. Adorable! Pilot sliced strawberries and cleaned up all of my kitchen messes, so we could actually get to bed at a reasonable hour.
The morning was absolutely fabulous. Even though I had to get out the door by 7am, we had a fun little Valentine's Day morning with the kiddos - they opened their little gifts (pencils, erasers, etc) and I was handed a tiny little red box. The Pilot smiled at me, and told me not to worry - the gift was "non-binding". He must've been worried I'd think it was a ring! It was the smallest, most delicate little cross necklace. His daughter (she's 5) told me that she helped him pick it out. Awww.
Then, during the school day, a beautiful bouquet of flowers arrived for me. I LOVE getting flowers! I had 11 years of marriage and two years of dating, and I never had flowers sent to me. It is simultaneously embarrassing and fabulous all at the same time - this was the third time he's sent them... and it made me just as giddy and happy every time.
After school, I went home, put on my little red dress, curled my hair, and waited to be picked up by my Pilot. He took me to the most amazing restaurant... reservations he made weeks ago to a place I've wanted to go to for years. It was absolutely incredibly - 7 courses and an incredibly strong drink. Between courses of scallops, frog legs, and squid, we had 3 amazing hours of pure happiness. Just wonderful conversation, a total escape from any thought of the clock, and completely immersed in each other.
The best Valentine's day I've ever had. I totally love this guy.
The Pilot brought his kids over for a Valentine's Eve sleepover - they played and played with Carter and Charlie, then all of the kiddos were tucked into bed and the work began! The Pilot finished putting Carter's valentines together for his class (without me even asking him to!), while I started prepping for breakfast. I made mini heart-shaped ham, cheese, and hashbrown quiches and baked a package of bacon into little heart shapes. Adorable! Pilot sliced strawberries and cleaned up all of my kitchen messes, so we could actually get to bed at a reasonable hour.
The morning was absolutely fabulous. Even though I had to get out the door by 7am, we had a fun little Valentine's Day morning with the kiddos - they opened their little gifts (pencils, erasers, etc) and I was handed a tiny little red box. The Pilot smiled at me, and told me not to worry - the gift was "non-binding". He must've been worried I'd think it was a ring! It was the smallest, most delicate little cross necklace. His daughter (she's 5) told me that she helped him pick it out. Awww.
Then, during the school day, a beautiful bouquet of flowers arrived for me. I LOVE getting flowers! I had 11 years of marriage and two years of dating, and I never had flowers sent to me. It is simultaneously embarrassing and fabulous all at the same time - this was the third time he's sent them... and it made me just as giddy and happy every time.
After school, I went home, put on my little red dress, curled my hair, and waited to be picked up by my Pilot. He took me to the most amazing restaurant... reservations he made weeks ago to a place I've wanted to go to for years. It was absolutely incredibly - 7 courses and an incredibly strong drink. Between courses of scallops, frog legs, and squid, we had 3 amazing hours of pure happiness. Just wonderful conversation, a total escape from any thought of the clock, and completely immersed in each other.
The best Valentine's day I've ever had. I totally love this guy.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
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